詩『愛と欲望』
愛と欲望(あるいは69行の幾何学的な愛欲)山田維史お前にぼくの秘密をうちあけようぼくがお前を殺してしまうなんてこのナイフの血の滴りを見たまえぼくは森の谷間でぼくのナイフをお前の下腹深く突き立ててやった蝶の翅のようにお前は脚をひらき大地の胎内に夜の虹の橋を架ける切っ先にまといつき締め付ける謎ぼくの舌は言葉を失い極北で痺れ空間は濃密さを増し血が臭い立つ怖がらなくてもいい、おちつけと自分に言い聞かせ堅く握りしめたナイフに真紅の花を咲かせて行くお前はのけぞり喉を震わせながら古代女神のように乳房を突き出しやおら両手を広げて大地を掻毟る空気は薄くぼくはすでに息苦しい肉の摩擦で挑発される凶器と狂気暴力が正当性をめざしてふくらむ抜き差しの連続で火のように熱い森の樹々の葉叢がざわめき焦げるむっと立ち昇る肉屋の火事の匂い金屋子神に仕える鍛冶師のごとくぼくは行為の中で技術を確立する暴力の技術と愛の技術との境界をぼくの精神は肉において統合する精神は何も語らず肉に代弁されるぼくは内側からお前の形をなぞり苦悶と快楽とに歪むお前を見つめ耳をそばだてお前の気息を捕らえ粘膜を限界まで引き絞っては弛めお前もまたただ肉として痙攣するぼくは一瞬たりとも目を離さない白眼を剥き目尻に溜めた涙を辿り地下水をたたえた深い井戸の底へお前のイドを求めてぼくは降りる見ることで欲望の成就を確認する存在の証明を想像力にたよらないぼくのナイフはもはや器物でない他者として遮る硬膜を切り裂いて滲み出る粘液にしちどにまみれて貪るようにお前のなかへ没入するおお愛しいのだ愛しいのだお前が干渉しあっていたふたりの波動がやがて大きなうねりとなって行くお前は何度も弓なりに反りかえりバネのような強靱さで抵抗を試みかと思えば蜜のように溶け出して幻惑と戦慄の中にぼくを投げ出すぼくは背骨を撓め、位置を正して両尻の筋肉を意識的に緊張させる世界を構成する網が一点で結ばれ自他の境が消失する、その瞬間だお前の断末魔の鋭い叫びとともにナイフの先端で遠近法が逆転した肉の筒の内側に星雲が渦を巻いて奔流となってぼくを襲い呑み込むぼくは、たちまち弾き飛ばされて殺人者としての方程式に堕落する行為の主体から客体への逆さ吊りそして昂然として他者であるお前急速に萎えて行く凶器を握る情熱足早に立ち去るぼくの青い背中にお前は分厚い白紙の辞書を投げたいまさら何を書きこめと言うのか想像力の欠如を後悔で埋めるのか自己疎外者の失地回復を願うまいまったく予想もしない結末だったお前にぼくの秘密をうちあけようLOVE and LUSTI'll reveal my secret to youIt's a story that I killed you!See the blood of this knifeI thrust it into your bellyin the valley under woods.You opened your legs like the wings of butterfly and formeded the rainbow of nightinto the womb of the ground.The mysteries stuck involving the point of the knife, bound it tight.My tongue obtained language, bent and was numbed with a north polar region.The increase of consentration and blood of space were stinking up.''It does not need to be afraid. Keep cool'' persuading myself to doI dyed my knife with the red bloom which I grasped tightly, and go.Shaking curvature and a throat, you projected the breast like an ancient goddess, extended both hands just then, and scratched and plucked the ground.Air was thin and I was already stifling.The weapon and my insanity were provoked by friction of meat.Violence expanded aiming at justification.It was hot like fire at continuation of extraction and insertion.The leaves of the trees in woods were noisy and burnedrising the smell of like the fire of the butcher.Like the blacksmith who serves God, I established technology in the act. My soul unifies the boundary of the technology of violence and the technology of love with the flesh.No soul was told but was paid by proxy of the flesh.I traced your form from your inner side.I gazed at you who were distorted for agony and pleasure. Pricking up my ears, I caught your breath.Membrane was strained to a limit, and was loosened and you also twitched as meat. It was sufficient for me for a moment, and I didn't look aside, either.The white of your eyes were skinned, your tear accumulated in the eye area was followed, and I got down in quest of your id to the bottom of the deep well in which groundwater was stored.Accomplishment of my desire was checked by seeing. It didn't depend for the proof of existence on imaginative power. My knife was not a vessel any longer.It was absorbed into you so that it might tear apart, might be heavily smeared with the oozing mucus and the membrane interrupted as the others might be coveted.Oh, I love you, my darling, darling !It interferes, and two persons' wave motion which suited serves as a soon big surge, and goes.If you bend backward to a bow repeatedly, and try resistance by toughness like a spring and or is thought so, you will begin to melt like honey and will give me up into dazzle and a shiver.I bent the backbone, correct my position and strained the muscles of both the hips intentionally. The net which constitutes the world was tied with one point, and the boundary of oneself and others disappearwd. ---It was the moment !With the sharp shout of your moment of death, perspective was reversed at the point of my knife. The nebula whirled around by the inner side of the pipe of meat, it became a rapid stream, and I was attacked.I was instantly flipped off and was degenerated to the equation as a murderer. Upside-down from the subject of an act to the object. And you who were the others triumphantly.I lost quickly strength in my passion which grasped the weapon. You threw the dictionary of the thick blank paper at my pale back left at a brisk pace.What do you say "Write in now"? Is lack of imaginative power fill uped with regret? I would carry out a self-alienation person's recovery of lost territory to not wishing. It was an end which didn't carry out anticipation at all, either.I'll reveal my secret to youIt's a story that you killed me!---------------------------------------Copyright (c) 2008 Tadami Yamada. All Rights Reserved.