20年前のエネルギーはどこへ消え失せた?
昨日は家回りの除草、3時間半の大仕事。そのためだろう、いささか疲れて、いつもより早めにベッドに入った。当たり前なことだが、つくづく歳をとったと実感した。20年前のあの疲れしらずのエネルギーはどこへ消え失せたのだろうと思った。 ・・・20年前、家の内装を工務店に施工を依頼した。完成までの短期間、私たち家族は一旦別の家に住んだ。しかし、完成して家に入ってみると、「何じゃこれは!」という無様な出来。とても専門職人がやったと思えぬいい加減さだった。私は、専門家面して仕事ができない奴が心底嫌いだ。私は怒り心頭に来て、工務店に、金は一切支払わない旨を告知し、承知させた。そして、そこからおよそ半年にわたる私のDIY, いや、Do it by myself が始まったのだ。 住宅建築構造に関する本を読んで頭にたたきこみ、内装の技術や浴室等のタイル貼り施工技術書とも首っ引きで。建材店に通って材料を吟味し、大量に買い込んだ。ついでにとばかり、居間の床板をすべて新調すべく、根太に樹脂を染込ませて腐朽を予防し,同様に新らしい床板も樹脂加工をした。 ちょいと自慢をするが、後日、畳屋が入り、内装を私がやったと言うと、全部見せてくれと言った。浴室のタイル貼りなどを見てから、「驚きました。ご主人は、こういう仕事をされていたのですか?」と訊くので、まったくの素人でしかも初めてやったのだと応えた。「かなわないなー、我々のしごとが上がったりです。うちの会社に入ってもらいたいですよ」と。まあ、お世辞だとは承知していたが、職人にそう言われるのは満更でもなかった。 話しが横道に逸れ過ぎた。まあ、そんなエネルギーがあったのだと思いながらベッドに横たわったのである。 しかし就寝前のルーティンである読書はしておこうと、読みかけの本を開いた。十分もしないうちに半睡状態。文字を追っていても、ぽつりぽつりと途切れて、著者の論が頭に入ってこない。こりゃだめだと、灯りを消した。 ところが夜中に眼は覚めた。灯りを点けて時計を見ると、午前2時だった。一眠りしたせいで頭がクリアだ。眠れそうもない。再び先ほどの本を読み始めた。こんどはどんどん頭に入って来た。アメリカ合衆国における18世紀から19世紀および20世紀初期にかけての、ヨーロッパ文学との対比をまじえての、アメリカ文学精神史である。なかなか難物の本だったが、結局、午前4時半過ぎまでかかって読了した。1年後くらいに再読しようと思うが、とりあえず、今夜からは新しい英語の原書を読み始めよう。これも難物。しかし、今朝、6時に目覚、枕元のその本の序章を少しばかり読み、難物難物と思いながら3ページばかり進んだところで、急に叙述がすらすらと頭に入り始めた。「しめた!」と思い、本を閉じて起床した。 Yesterday weeding around the house, a big job ofthree and half hours. Probably becaus of that, I was alittle tired and went to bed earlier than usual. Obviously, I realized I was getting older. I won-dered where that my own tireless energy 20 years ago had disappeared. Twenty years ago, I asked a contractor to builed theinterior of my house. For a short period of time to com-pletion, our family once lived in another house. However, when it was completed and entered thehouse, it was awkward, saying "What's this!". It was sloppy thing that I couldn't believe was done by a pro-fessional craftsman. I really hate those who can't workas professionals. Igot angry and told the contractorthat I wouldn't pay any money and made him aware.And the my DIY, no, Do it myself, which lasted abouthalf year, started. Read a book about the structure of a house and hitit in my head, and also read the interior technologyand the tiling construction technology book for bath-room, etc. Iwent to a building materials store to ex-amine the materials and bought them in large quan-tities, and also bought various kind of the tool. By the way, in order to renew all the floorboardsin the living room, the joists were impregnated withresin to prevent decay, and the new floorboards werealso resin-processed. I'm proud of it a little, but at a later date, a tatamimat craftsman came in and when I said that I did theinterior, he asked me to show them all. After seeingthe tiling in the bathroom, he asked, "I was surprised.Were you a raftsman of this kind once ago?", So Ianswered that I was a complete amateur and did it for the first time. "I can't do it, our business is ruined.I want you to join our ompany." Well, I knew it wasflattering, but it was not altogether bad for me for the raftsman to say so. The story went toofar in the side street. Well, I laydown on the bed thinking that there was such energy. However, I opened the book I was reading to keepreading, which is my routine before going to bed.Half asleep before enough. Even if I follow the letters, the author's theory does not come to mymind because it is interrupted. If this didn't work, Iturned off the light. However, I woke up in the middle of night. WhenI turned on the light and looked at the clock, it was2:00 am. My head is clear because I slept. I can'tsleep. I started reading the book again. It cames into my head more and more. The book is the spiritual history of American literature in the UnitedStates from the 18th century to the 19th and early20th centuries, in contrast to European literature.It was difficult book, but in the end, it took me untilafter 4:30 am to read it. I'll read it again in about a year, but for now, let'sstart reading the new English original from tonight.This is also a difficult thing. However, this morning,I woke up at 6 o'clock, read the introductory partof the book at the bedside a little, and when I pro-ceeded about 3 pages thinking that it was a diffi-cult thing, suddenly the description began to come to my mind. I closed the book and got up, thinking"I've done it!"Tadani Yamada