今が生死

9月2日に第一内科の同窓会があるが、それに参加すると思われる何人かの名前が思い
出せなった。「あいうえお」に順番に当てはめて考えてみたがダメだった。それでも
通勤の途中で二人思い出したが後の人はだめで自信を無くしてしまった。その日は薬
の名前も思い出せなくなっていよいよ自分も終わりかな？と思ったが午後になって一
人思い出し翌日一人思い出して全て思い出したら少し自信が戻ってきた。頭の中のど
こかに彼らの名前があるのだが奥に入ってしまって中々見つからなったが見つかって
みればすごく簡単なことに思えた。私たちの頭の中には色々なことがいっぱい詰まっ
ているのでしばらく会わない人の名前などは奥の方に隠れてしまっているのだと思
う。思い出せないと認知症が進んだと思いがちだが奥の方に隠れているのだと思えば
気が楽になる。時々は思い出す訓練をして自信を取り戻そうと思っている。

On September 2nd there is a reunion of the First Department of Internal
Medicine, but I could not remember the names of some people whom I think
would participate in. I applied to remember using "AIUEIO" in order and
thought about it, but it was useless. Still I remembered two people on the
way of work, but the latter person was not, I lost confidence. I cannot even
remember the name of the medicine on that day. I thought I have come to end.
But in the afternoon I remembered one and the next day the rest, when I
recall all the things my confidence came back a little. I found their name
somewhere in my head, but I couldn’t find it as they were in the back and
inside, but it seemed to be quite easy after I found it. I think that the
names of those who do not meet for a while are packed with many things in
our heads and be hidden behind them. If you cannot remember you tend to
believe that dementia has progressed, but you feel relieved if you think
that you are only hiding behind the back.
From time to time I am trying to recall my confidence by training to
remember.