back in Tasmania...
I arrived in Tasmania on 12th of this month...I was gonna stay with the Tasmanian guy at that night but the host (his dad) had to pick up one of his friends at the airport on the same day as I arrived in Tasmania, so fortunately, I got a lift to the WWOOFing place...well, actually, I wantedto stay with him, but he said I should go with his dad...so, I couldn't say anything. But he offered me an overnighttrip in Tasmania before X'mas...I thought he might havechanged his mind...BUT...it didn't really happen...that'sa bit shame. But I think he is still happy with being withme for a while, which is good enough...well, not enoughbut it's much better than being hated...haha. He is a verystrange guy...he doesn't wanna be with someone for long...he wants to be by himself all the time, well not all the time, but most of the time. He says being with someone for one day or two days will be enough for him...But ofcourse he sometimes feels lonely, and I'm lonely, too.So, that makes us together but he says we shouldn't get attatched too much because we know we have tosay good-bye someday and it will be very difficult ifwe are very attatched... I know, but...but...I still feel likebeing with him. But I have to try not to annoy him, too.Well, I'd been expecting him to change his mind to someextent, but now I know he would never change his mind, so I won't miss him as much as before. Well...he reallyconfuses me...like, after these conversation, he stilloffers me another trip before I leave Tasmania again.I can't understand...he likes me but he doesn't love me,And he gave me some X'mas presents too...even thoughhe has to save his money...it's very difficult to understandhim. Probably he likes being with me (not for long) buthe doesn't want me to be his girlfriend. And he says heoffers another trip because I should see lots of thingsin Tasmania. (I'm usually not like a tourist, and I just doWWOOFing. So, I don't really look around the touristplaces.) I don't know...I don't understand why he can be so kind to me. Well, even during the trip, he stillsometimes wants to be by himself, though. Anyway,I really have to give up him and look at another world.It's very difficult for me now...but I have to. Oh, actually,I'm thinking of immigrate to Australia someday. ThenI have to get a job here though. And also diploma isone of the important things for immigration, but I didn'tfinish my university and I didn't get the diploma, so itmust make difficult for me to immigrate a little bit...but I will try!! Never give up!!