今日は英語のジョークネタです。
タイトルは、「映画から学ぶこと」。

お楽しみ下さい。映画好きなら結構笑えると思います。いくつか訳すと、こんな感じです。

「爆弾の爆発を止めるのに、どの線を切るか迷う必要はない。必ず正しい線を切ることができる。」

「キッチンには電灯のスイッチがない。夜キッチンに行くときは、冷蔵庫の戸を開けて、明かりの代わりにしなければならない。」

「いつでも訪問先の建物のすぐ前に駐車することができる。」
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All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

All single women have a cat.

When in love, it is customary to burst into song.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

A full moon can occur for several nights in a row.

The person you trust most at work is probably the one who is trying to kill you.

Should you need to diffuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

The Chief of Police is always black.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should wear their most revealing underwear when investigating any strange noises during the night.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon - then look in your bathroom mirror and he will suddenly appear behind

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

At least one pair of identical twins is born evil.
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