フロ、カール、ゲシュタルト
In the first place, what is attchment..? im thinking about why people get more hurt when they are attached to particular person. As Freud said, ther is a attchment theory, he said that if you have attachment to a special person, you more likely to be more empathetic, sensitive and emotional. He explained why people became depression by using this theory. If you think about this, it is natural or easy thing to say "yeah, if you have attachment to someone, you will get hurt.." or something. Of course, because you care about the person so much, you'll get hurt. But, for me, ive been confused about the word attachment, maybe weird for other people, im kinda scard of attachment,,maybe because i got so bad hurt by someone I attached before. accroding to the dictionary of psychology, attachment is "generally, a binding affection, an emotional tie between people. the usual cnnotation is that this kind of emotional relationship is infused with dependency: the persons relay on each other for emotional satisfaction". yeah..each other's emotional dependency.. that's why people got hurt when they lose the person who u attached. Why am i talking about the attachment? because yesterday, i was on the chat, then two people start talking about the attachment at the same time! quite a surprise..eh it is always awful thing to get hurt and hurt somebody. the relationship with anyone, like friends, boy(girl)friends and family doen't go well all the time, sometimes, you fight and other times, you are in good relationship. Once I got hurt, i don't wanna have any more attachment with anyone, but isn't it sad? Well...if Freud(Psychoanalytic psychologist) were here, he would say to me...like, you are having displacemend, which is one of self-defense to deny the reality unconsciouly. he continues, "you want to have attachment, but it is so scard for you to find attachment, thats why you are saying the opposite feeling"..hahaha. could be. maybe i want to have attachment, but, i know its gonna hurt me again!! its so scard!!! Well....at the same time, Carl Rogers (Humaritarian psychologist) would say..."you are in the middle of self-actualization process...you have to think about what you really think RIGHT NOW and become wholeness of you in ur future, then you are fine...I will give you unconditional love." ....nice nice. Moreover, maybe if there were Fritz Perls (Gestalt psychologist), he angerly would say to me, like "whats ur feeling right now? you do what you do, i don't care what you feel, you are the person who are responsible for all what you feel and do. Do whatever you want"...i will cry...lol what a wonderful therapy! Yeah...its nice to look at my thinking problems by many kinds of psychotherapy thoeries...is it so wierd?? to look at myself, like my problems. And i am trying to explain by using thoeries..??? I think I studied too much about psychology...well..maybe good thing! (?) it is so interesting to look at how different explanations theorists have for the same baheviour. this is a reason why psychologists have own initiative approach they follow. if you have more than two different approach, you gonna be messed up when you have a client..because so many different explanation for one behaviour! then so many treatment too! But, now, as the studies and research are increased, counsellers are using one approach, but also they tend to mix or use with other therapy methods depends on the client's problem. Anyhow...back to my topic.How nice the world would be if i can trust everybody and spand time together with smile. So many funny times with my friends I spent, many times. However, only one, only one incident got hurt me and affected my life negatively. maybe i am lucky in a sense that we know we still lik each other, but we won't work anyway. its little bit sad to know that we are not gonna work. anyhow, We know each other so well that we are satisfied our desicion now and we decided to being friends. I like you, and you like me. what do I want more? well...i just wanted to say to mami...don't worry about the night, we had fun fun time and we had more fun at the church,eh. our life goes what you don't expect and you get hurt, too. its so so okay to cry and i just don't want you to hold ur sufferings inside..its gonna brow up..unhealthy. i have shoulders to cry on and its free!!! hehe. crying is not the thing to show ur weak or anything, just showing that you have sad feeling and ur human being!! its so so natural to cry and also it so true that you will be stronger!! ur always sweet and sesitive thats why you feel things deeply and its not a bad thing at all, its rather a good thing. (actually, my friend told me the same thing for me..) So, chin up and look at blue sky...there are so many excited things in ur future as many as the number of stars in the sky!!! you never know....endless stuff! Thank you for writing about me in ur blog....you don't have to say thank you..anytime!!! i didn't say much things to comfort u...i tried tho...lol. we shere negative things together so that its spread a half them you don't need to cry much. we also share positive things so that it become double!!!!then we laugh lots!!!