Life goes on
Two entries in one day. Two very different entries. In this one I'll be writing about certain things that I've been thinking about lately, while I've been holed up in my little shell. Since I've quit school (which might be news to some of you) I've been working almost every other day. On the days that I don't work, I usually stay at home... watching tv... not doing very much. Most activities aren't even remotely productive. I lack interaction with people. On days that I don't go to work, my family are usually the only people I actually come in contact with, without a computer. We live in a crazy time, don't we? You don't even have to leave your house to ask someone how they're doing, or send someone birthday wishes. Anyhoo, the point is, I was visiting the ICU KGK website, where there were pictures of my club friends going out to eat and doing different activities together. And I found myself thinking, "Life goes on, and I didn't even notice it go." Every single person in the pictures were living fine without me in their lives. And in this situation, you can either go down the "milk is half empty" path, or the "half full" path. I know it's silly to even be thinking about this, but it's been thought, so I'm gonna deal with it. Because everyone, even the most egotistical person in the world (who in reality might often be the most insecure) have doubts about their role, their value in other people's lives. So in this situation, the "half empty" path will lead me to believe that I'm not needed or wanted by any of my friends at school. Because in reality, I don't have close friends at school. But before I drown in self-pity, I should ask myself one thing. "Did I ever show anyone at school that they were needed, that I honestly wanted their company?" "Did I make the effort to form a bond with anyone?" Because friendship is such a strong yet sometimes fragile connection between two people. And I couldn't find the time to build that bridge with anyone. In fact, I pushed people away and ran from what could have been a great relationship with very loving, caring people. But time passes and chances are lost if they're not taken. I lost a lot of chances. But I'm still gonna look at things through the "half full" lens. Because even if chances come and go, new ones come at you everyday. I've learned a lot in the past year. If I could, I might change a few things, but most things I think I would leave them be. Because now I know how to, and not to treat a friend. I know now that in order to receive, you must give. You have to make the effort. A new chapter in my life is going to start next year. Throughout those new pages, I'm going to try to keep that "half full" thing in mind. You know what they say. "Live life to the fullest"!