良いニュースと悪いニュース:天国で野球
英文ジョークの定番、good news and bad news.一つ新しいのを仕込んだので披露。英語が簡単なのもうれしい。そういえば日本ではこの手法のジョークはあまり聞かない。なんか国民性が関係しているのだろうか。野球好きの2人の老人。1人はもうすぐ死にそう。Two ninety year old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives.It seems that Sam is dying of cancer, and Moe comes to visit him every day."Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both loved baseball all our lives, and how we played minor league ball together for so many years. 天国でも野球が出来るのかな?君はきっと天国に行く。もし分かれば天国で野球が出来るかどうか知らせてくれSam, you have to do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, and I know you will go to Heaven, somehow you've got to let me know if there's baseball in Heaven."Sam looks up at Moe from his death bed, and says, "Moe, you've been my best friend many years. This favor, if it is at all possible, I'll do for you."And shortly after that, Sam passes on.やがてその友人は亡くなる。※死の床は「death bed」なんだね。直訳くさい。そして夜中に亡くなった筈の友の呼ぶ声がする。It is midnight a couple of nights later. Moe is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calls out tohim, "Moe.... Moe....""Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?""Moe, it's me , Sam.""Come on. You're not Sam. Sam just died."I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Sam!""Sam? Is that you? Where are you?""I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good news and a little bad news."今は天国にいる。凄く良いニュースと、ちょっと良くないニュースがある。ここでどちらを先に聞くかがジョークの分かれ目。"So, tell me the good news first," says Moe.良いニュース・天国でも野球ができる。・俺より前に死んだ奴ともそこでプレーできる。・みんな若返っていて、気候はとてもイイ。"The good news," says Sam "is that there is baseball in heaven. Better yet, all our old buddies who've gone before us are there. Better yet, we're all young men again. Better yet, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired!"凄いじゃないか、と老人。"Really?" says Moe, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest dreams! では悪いニュースは?But, what's the bad news?""You're pitching next Tuesday".